More thoughts on kindness

This week, my family and I are coping with the death of my Mom, Jean Payne. She lived a very full 90 years, and we are now attempting to put together a fitting memorial service for her.

If there is a perfect word to describe her, it would be "Kind". "Selfless" and "Loving" would also fit, but "Kind" fits best.

Six years ago, she had a brain "incident", which caused her to be hospitalized for two months, then moved to a nursing home for three more months. Her recovery  - her REAL recovery began at the nursing home when she began to pay attention to the hurts, woes and concerns of the other patients, putting their problems  before her own. 

What a glorious lesson for us all. The self-healing power of concern,  love and kindness that was embodied in her life, can work for all of us in our own lives.

I have a purpose in my own life - I have a need to make someone - ANYone, at least once a day, laugh.  Snickers, half smiles and rolling eyes don't count. It has to be a really good laugh.

Have you ever been in a supermarket and been the person BEHIND the booger who is giving the young cashier a hard time? You know the scene. She is dutifully taking care of the next customer (you) but what she really wants to do is dissolve in tears. She's biting her lower lip, and you can see her lips and hands trembling - her eyes are moist.....

Here is where humor and kindness can truly make someone's day, week or month.

I lean over and quietly whisper to her "You know, if it wasn't for the assholes, you wouldn't appreciate the nice folks...."  The clouds part, the sun shines and the smile takes over the formerly upset face. Then the laughter begins. It's worth it.

Ok, it's a gift. But even gifts take practice.

The more you practice at being kind, the easier it gets, and the more you want the results of your being kind, the more it becomes a need.... kind of like a narcotic....

I think I understand Mom a little better.

Until next time.

Monroe

PS, I hope you like the photo above. Find more like it at http://www.yessy.com/paynephoto/gallery.html. There are several galleries within my site. Please enjoy them all.

No act of kindness is ever wasted. Ever.

So what is an act of kindness?

It should be self explanatory, but in case you missed the memo, let me elucidate.

Monte Zucker, one of the all time greats in the photo business, took the time to respond to an email I sent him; a 4 page letter that I received only a few short hours after I sent mine to him.

As a beginning professional photographer, I had no reason to even consider the possibility that he might even respond with an automated note - I was a nobody. But not to Monte.

Monte knew that everyone was special, and had incredible gifts that just had to be properly nurtured and allowed to grow. His willingness to take the time to encourage me has helped set the tone for my professional life, a tone of sharing and continual growth.

We have no idea what our words or actions will have on those we touch. Negative words are poison, and once they leave our lips (or keyboard) they are nearly impossible to erase. It is amazing how clearly they are remembered by those who heard, and how they affect those in the line of fire.

Positive words, on the other hand, don't usually make the news. But they are remembered, nurtured and cherished by those who have the fortune to be their recipient.

And they are life changing.

So back to kindness. What is kindness?

It is taking the time to help someone who has no possibility of paying you back. It is a smile; a kind word or a forgiving attitude. It is three minutes with a child, paying attention like there is noone else in the world.

It is knowing that you will leave each person you touch a little better than you found them.

Practice your kindness. The smiles you get in return are addicting.

Until next time!

September's Wedding in a Fantasy World

And you thought all I did was take pictures......

This past September in the fantasy world we keep in our back field, a great celebration took place; the marraige of Sage Hektor Malthesian and Aleah Juleswood, an elven healer.

Ok, not your average wedding, not your average town, and definately not an ordinary day.

Welcome to the world of LARPing, or Live Action Role Playing. Janet and I have been hosting this game (or some version thereof) for the last 16 years. During all of that time, we have played our separate characters, never being the man & wife we are outside of the game.

This year, we corrected that gross oversight, by injecting a little romance and intrigue, and finishing up with a marraige celebration and feast (including a pig roast) to reward all of those players and characters who have kept us young these last 16 years.

For more information (and more photos), go to http://www.lansingstar.com/content/view/4087/66/ for the Lansing Star's article. While you're there, look around the publication. You will be surprised and delighted.

And while you're on line, please check out http://www.yessy.com/paynephoto/gallery.html, where I've posted a few of my landscape photos. Enjoy!

Autumn Lane Most Watched Image

Although I am primarily a portrait and wedding photographer, I get a real joy from my landscape and art images. And it sometimes surprises me which images are looked at and enjoyed by people on the web.

This item, Autumn Lane, is the most viewed of any on my images on www.yessy.com/paynephoto/gallery.html. This image is part of my "Signature" series, which are all signed. See? Signature.

This image was taken last October near Cayuta, in Schuyler County, NY.

Right now, I am in the process of creating a web site to showcase my art work - well, I am having a great designer Dave Makar of 544 Productions in Ithaca, NY do the work - and while the task is daunting, it will be gratifying to be able to share these images with everyone.

A feature of the new site will be a "Photo of theWeek" link, where the image that I find appealing at that particular moment will be shared with everybody on my list. I welcome critiques, and may even offer freebies to people who share their opinions!

Also, coming soon, I'll share with you articles I have found of value in my business, my life and in my photography.

That's all for now. Have a great week!

Monroe

Autumn Splendor in the Adirondacks

Columbus day weekend is the most spectacular time of the year in New York's Adirondack mountains. The colors are rich and vibrant, the weather is cold at night and crisp during the days, and the sun seems a little closer than in the city.


Up at Big Moose Lake, each of the branches of the lake has its own personality. North bay is quiet and soft, shallow and peaceful. East bay is a bit more breezy, and the lake itself changes moods at its whim.


In the crisp mornings near dawn, the mist rises from the lake like a blanket being slowly removed after the night's slumber, to reveal a playground for visitors and wildlife alike.

This photo was taken at Camp Waldheim, on Big Moose Lake.

What to look for in a Professional

Here's something we don't think about nearly often enough, what to look for in a Professional Photographer.

Ok, it's not something we talk about a lot, and choosing a photographer is not something we do every day - or year - but a good decision here can be the beginning of a joy forever.

First, does he or she take good photos? I know, that's a no-brainer, but some people are so unable to fight sales pressure that they agree to a package and a photographer that isn't first rate. Look at their web site. Look at their portfolio. It is a fair question - "Did you take all of these?" Some photographers work for a studio that has several photographers, and the sample work may not have been taken by the one you're hiring!

Second, would you feel safe, alone with this person? To get extraordinary images, there has to be trust. Me - I'm far too trusting. My wife, on the other hand, is not. In this case, I defer to her judgement when we are choosing someone to do a job for us, or hiring a third photographer for an event.

Last, are they reliable. Once you pay your money, do they show up on time? Do they deliver what they say, when they promise? Get references. Talk to former clients.

Remember, a good photographer won't be cheap. If you want cheap, go to Wal Mart. If you want emotional, fun, exceptional photography, use a professional.

A Keynote Speaker

Ok, this is not usual.

I was invited to be a keynote speaker at a conference at Cornell University.
Sounds impressive, don't you think....

Actually, it was fun. I was speaking to about 150 4-H'ers and parents on adding photography to their projects, and actually entering their images at State Fair.

They gave me 40 minutes, and I found it wasn't nearly enough time.

So lets hit the high points, and you be the judge of my material.

First, photograph what you love.
Second, make the photo technically correct, exposure, color, contrast etc.
And third (most of the talk), composition.

Start with the background. Fuzz it out. Eliminate it. Soften it. Uncluter it. Darken it, but make your subject stand out no matter what.

Next, apply the rule of thirds. If you don't know what that is, e-mail me and we'll have a conversation.

Next, don't shoot straight on. Photos look better with perspective, diagonals, curves and the DaVinci Curve as compositional elements. DaVinci Curve later.

And most important, carry the camera with you every day, so you can capture those moments that are otherwise lost. Images like the 2 geese flying at rooftop levels into the sunrise. Kids climbing on the jungle gym over your head. Natural Ice Formations from this past March's ice storms.

Very last, be sponges. Never grow tired of learning and improving. Play with that camera. Push it past its limits. Every day. Go for it.

And for you budding great photographers, check out www.shootsmarter.com. The best advice and tutorials in the world!

See you next time!

Monroe